Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back

Remember this absolute trainwreck of a platformer franchise? Remember this insultingly ugly, bare-bones mediocrity? A grating, infuriating wretched pile of bile?

I'm hoping to Jesus Christ you forget. Bubsy was a platformer that quite simply should never have existed. Take the most annoying concepts from Awesome Possum, double them and then make the game an unplayable nightmare! That is Bubsy in a nutshell. And it gets better! Now there is a fucking sequel to Bubsy 3D, Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back. Your better off setting your money on fire then participating in this abomination!

Where to even begin? How about a platforming game that only works when it fucking wants too? When you can just scale walls at random! And then fall to your death. Or glitch into a hidden enemy. Where jumping is not reliable in a platformer. Enemies have no strategic placement, leaving you to spam buttons mindless trying to navigate. The voice acting is nails on a chalkboard cringe-worthy! You will want to throw out your speakers into the nearest waste disposal within minutes!

This game makes mediocrity appear as Chuck Norris in its execution. It's pathetically easy and utterly brainless! You're given so many lives that you can finish the entire game in under an hour. Thank GOD this title is only $30.00 and even that is too expensive. Hate pointless grind quests? Well, eat shit then! Bubsy: Rise Of The Woolies is NOTHING BUT GRINDING FOR COLLECTIBLES OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!! The soundtrack is beyond mediocrity, its the same stock sound footage looped over and over again, with graphics that would remain below passable on the Xbox 360.

The worlds are annoyingly bland, the gameplay grating and irritating. Every disgusting moment offends human sensation to its fullest. This is a platformer without the platformer, so glitch-ridden and lacking in any satisfying gameplay, that watching paint dry will become America's favorite sport in comparison! This is one can of worms you never want to open, and currently my pick for the Worst Game of 2017. Congratulations Bubsy, now jump off a bridge into a lake of boiling hot sulfuric acid and never return!

Gameplay: 1/10
Graphics: 2/10
Sound: 1/10
Replayability: 1/10
Final Verdict: 0/10 (POISONOUS FILTH)