The Fall of Rareware and the Necessity of a Conker Sequel

Goddammit, Microsoft. Why did you have to buttfuck Rareware up the asshole? Ever since you bought out Rareware, the company has literally gone down the toilet in terms of gaming quality. Grabbed By The Ghoulies was the last semi-decent release, the rest has been pure trash! Instead of a new Conker game, we just got the first game with slightly improved graphics.

It's not enough dammit! WE WANT A CONKER SEQUEL RAREWARE!!! WE WANT BANJO THREEIE!!! But unfortunately, these games have yet to occur. Instead, Rareware released the terrible Banjo Kazooie Nuts & Bolts game, which features excellent graphics but horrible uninspired vehicular gameplay with ZERO PLATFORMING ELEMENTS! ZERO!!!

We don't want a VR Conker game in which Conker is a goody-two-shoe douchebag! We want the REAL violent, swearing alcoholic Conker to return in an awesome sequel! Live & Reloaded when it was released for the Xbox, had next generation graphics and the potential was there to expand upon the lore. Instead, this franchise has been all but forgotten, much to the sadness of gamers worldwide. We patiently await the day Rareware when you wake up, and bring Banjo Kazooie and Conker back to their former glories. Nintendo may own Donkey Kong, but those franchises are your responsibility to fix!

Dragon Ball FighterZ

DragonBall Fighter Z is the best DragonBall Z video game released in years! BANDAI NAMCO switched tactics by releasing Fighter Z as a 2D cel-shaded fighting game instead of 3D. The results have paid off, with smooth and fluid combat mechanics, simple and easy to learn, tough and intense to master! Combos are easily strung together, and every fighter has signature move-sets that pay homage to DBZ's world and lore.

The animation in this game is top notch, and every combo feels natural to execute! The only real problem with DBZ Fighter Z is the story mode, it's painfully repetitive, fighting generic enemies for hours on end. Even worse, this game has loot boxes, ala Battlefront II! Thankfully the microtransactions in this game can become earned through gameplay, not simply Pay-To-Win like in that game, so they detract little from the overall experience. The dialogue is witty, humorous in tone, and captures the personality of the original anime legend, making up for much of the single-player modes shortcomings.

Overall, DBZ Fighter Z is an excellent fighting game. The 2D core mechanics remain solid and engaging, while the excellent combo system creates a powerfully diverse fighter that ensures hours of replayability. This game is nowhere near Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition or Tekken 7, but is a great experience in its own right!

Final Verdict:
Graphics: 9/10
Gameplay: 8/10
Sound: 9/10
Replay Value: 7/10
Overall: 8/10 (Great!)

Rainbow Six Siege

Rainbow Six: Siege is a profoundly competitive and expertly crafted FPS, which rewards intelligent and strategic game-play actions by players just as much as strong aim! Every battle is filled with tension that can cut through butter like a hot-knife! You cannot just run and gun your way to victory in Siege like Call Of Duty, cooperation remains an essential component. An example includes setting a bomb charge on a single door, as your teammate covers your back with a sniper, as other fighters cover the window flank. You can even have players distract enemy AI with fake phone calls before ambushing them in an intense firefight!

 The Rainbow Six series has heavily evolved since its inception two years ago. New maps, cosmetic items, bug patches, more balancing and stability, and stronger operators have created a stronger foundation for a great FPS experience! Core game-play remains mostly the same with tweaks. 5v5 death-match scenarios between attacking and defending. Well-armed military special force squads skirmish on arena style, intricately designed maps. All the environments are destructible in Siege, making it a matter of adapting to your hazardous environment, deciphering which doors and walls to barricade or bust open. The maps are multilayered and complex, and rely on outsmarting your opponents just as much as outgunning them. Learning when to use cover, and when to destroy the floor as an enemy charges your flank can become the difference between victory and defeat! Numerous levels are asymmetrical with multiple floors that are all destructible, so your firefights change in real time as the carnage unfolds!

 Working with your partners, either through voice talk, content, or simply delineation and pings is a straightforward yet to a great degree impact skills you can improve at in Siege multiplayer. It can be a major solicit to depend on the voices from web outsiders (and Siege unquestionably has what's coming to its of antagonistic and unhelpful players) yet by and large I've been charmingly astonished by how this group comprehends and holds onto great correspondence as a device.

An incredible case of how correspondence can win diversions is with surveillance cameras and automatons. You can utilize cameras to stamp the area of foes for your entire group, however doing as such will likewise caution the checked player that they've been seen, regularly bringing about them rapidly chasing down and pulverizing that camera. Yet, in the event that you don't stamp adversaries, and rather converse with your colleagues and reveal to them where that individual is, you can give them a similar data without alarming your enemies. You can even now utilize those same cameras after you've kicked the bucket as well, which keenly removes a ton of down-time as you keep on helping any surviving partners.

Overall Rainbow Six: Siege is an incredible experience! The level of tactics and strategy dwarfs nearly any other FPS on the market to date. There is simply little else like Siege on the market currently, and this makes the game a must purchase for any Tactical FPS gamer!

Final Verdict:
Graphics: 10/10
Gameplay: 9/10
Sound: 9/10
Replay Value: 10/10
Overall: 9.5/10 (Amazing!)

Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition

Rejoice Street Fighter fans! Capcom has FINALLY learned from its mistakes! When Street Fighter V originally released, it was a bare-bones experience with little to offer from its predecessors. Yet the core fighting game mechanics remained solid, Capcom just needed to add serious meat to the experience. I am proud to announce that Capcom has done just this with Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition! 

SFV: Arcade Edition now has a full-fledged arcade mode! The training mode has been updated with frame data to better study your combos and execute killer finishes! It even color-coordinates to let you know when your character is at an advantage or disadvantage after an attack. This is incredibly helpful when learning a new character, or learning how to fight against characters that give you trouble. The new V-trigger moves add complex and powerful new depth to combat! Now you can turn what appears as a certain defeat into a victory with proper timing and skill!

Online arcade mode makes a stunning return, this time with zero input lag! Capcom even gives old-school Street Fighter fans a shoutout, by allowing you to play the Arcade mode with matching costumes & move sets from previous Street Fighter iterations! Fan favorites return, including the legendary Sagat, who was stupidly absent from Street Fighter V's initial release! 

Overall, Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition is a marvelous update by Capcom, proof that even old dogs can learn new tricks and master them!

Final Verdict:
Gameplay: 10/10
Graphics: 10/10
Sound: 9/10
Replayability: 8/10
Overall: 9.7/10 (AMAZING!!!)

Life Of Black Tiger

Life of Black Tiger is without a doubt, the WORST PS4 Pro video game ever created! Who could possibly have approved of this janky PS1 era graphical abomination?! Yes, this POS is, in fact, a PS4 game. You couldn't tell because the game looks worse than games on the Nintendo 64 and PlayStation 2 by a field mile. Let's talk about the gameplay! So glitchy and profoundly aggravating to every element of human sensation! Absurdly childish and pathetic storytelling. You will strongly desire to tear your eyeballs out from their sockets after being forced through this excruciating experience! 

Just look at this disgusting screenshot. Does this LOOK like a PS4 game? Does this look good by PS1 standards? Hell to the no!!! The controls are so stiff and rigid, your tiger feels like he is ice skating his way through antelopes and ugly sprite blood! Every moment of this experience is pure torment for your controller! From the wonky camera and stiff controls to the mind-meltingly horrible graphics and terrible music that plays on an infinite loop in the menu, only to become followed by hours of excruciating silence.

Well...that's not true. The sounds of your constant swearing will become center stage as you try to endure through Life of Black Tiger. This isn't a video game at all, it's a real-life Chinese water torture simulator, and it executes its mission with stunning elegance. Elegance covered in urine and feces. Did I mention that the controls will give you literal heart failure? Your tiger spasms like a strung-out crackhead tweaked on amphetamines when you try to make simple turns and maneuvers. This game is so ugly, that the iOS version of the game has superior graphics! 

The writing and story is pure garbage, a five-year-old huffing glue for his final exam could have developed a superior video game in half the time and with zero effort. There are literally, zero redeeming qualities to Life of Black Tiger, the game is pure poison to your soul. Should you EVER come across this absolute abomination at your local Gamestop, buy it for its $10.00 asking price, then grab some kerosene and matches and let the fun begin!

Final Verdict:
Graphics: 0/10
Gameplay: 0/10
Sound: 0/10
Replayability: -∞
Overall: 0/10 (ABYSMAL GARBAGE!!!)

Welcome to 2018!

Welcome my friends to the year 2018! Splintered Joystick is back online, and we are only getting started! This website has been on a temporary hiatus, as I have been formulating blueprints to evolve the site from its original concept. 

Now is the time I put my plan into action. Splintered Joystick is getting a total overhaul. Not only will we be delivering game and technology reviews, but editorials, products, goods, and services will all become readily available to all my darling viewers! Expect big changes on the horizon, and don't expect this blog to stay in hiatus for long ever again!

Top 10 Best Games of 2017!

2017 was a rough year for the gaming industry. Triple AAA titles such as Star Wars Battlefront II and Mass Effect Andromeda were massive flops, and the entire year became littered with terrible, underwhelming video games. Even worse, the platforming genre has all but died out! With horrible releases that made a mockery of the classic N64 platformers, such as Super Lucky's Tale and Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back, alongside overhyped titles such as Sonic Forces.

However, this year was not a total waste in gaming, as we still got our hands on many titles that broke new ground or redefined old gaming mechanics into something truly special. So without any delay, I present to you my personal Top 10 games of 2017 list!

10) Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is as near perfect an expansion to an already incredible game as your going to get! All the amazing vehicles and tracks from Mario Kart 8 return, along with tons of new stages and weapons. The online mode is seamless and near flawless in its execution on the Nintendo Switch. My manager was playing this game the other day during our lunch break, and even on the portable Switch screen the graphics and gameplay are top of the line! New characters such as Skeleton Koopa and Link (yes that Link from the Legend of Zelda) make an appearance. The entire game is a complete treat to play, and one of the Nintendo Switch's very best titles!

9) Hand of Fate II

Hand of Fate II is a unique RPG. The story involves one insane scenario after another, but not once do you feel bored! The combat is heavy in both its variety and its replayability. None of the game feels like a chore because every character and mission is more eccentric and crazy than the last. You truly feel like your exploring a Dungeons and Dragons lair, replete with badass enemies and incredible secrets to discover!Hand of Fate 2 borrows numerous concepts from the viral Hearthstone release. 

Both feature deck building controls and turn-based strategy. The difference is that Hand of Fate 2 has much more personality! The NPC's taunt you and play mind games on the player in real-time. The game is designed around absolute chaos and principles of randomness, with an air of unpredictable elements that interrupt and dynamically change the flow of combat within seconds! Every component of Hand of Fate 2 adds strategy and chaos. You must prepare your deck and monsters accordingly, because the battlegrounds shift in real time, eliminating predictable elements from the gameplay. Its an experience where no two playthroughs are the same, and for the variety and novelty alone in a year filled with carbon cardboard releases its a breath of fresh spring air!

8) NIOH: COMPLETE EDITION

Nioh is Team Ninja's greatest gaming achievement to date! This game is an absolute savage when it comes to difficulty spikes! It makes Ninja Gaiden look like its wearing diapers and a training bra in comparison! The enemy ninjas and samurais are listless and cunning in battle, using cover perfectly, calling out to allies and will flank you in seconds. Luckily, Nioh has a heavy arsenal of ninjitsu samurai skills and weapons at his disposal to wipe the floors with blood and gore! Every moment of this game will put a smile on your face, or make you boil your controller alive in frustration! But one thing is for sure, this is one hack and slash title you do not want to miss!!!

7) Divinity Original Sin II

Divinity Original Sin II is one of the best RPG's to get released in years! The combat is endless in its variety, the environments are stunning to look at, and the characters are consistently charming throughout. Every element just works, from drop-in-drop-out co-op to hub worlds and ranking up in quests. Some RPG's make leveling up a tedious chore, let alone progressing through missions! Divinity Original Sin II suffers no such faults, and is a prime example of the best in top-down isometric RPGs!

6) Doom VFR/Switch

Most people believed the next-generation Doom title would have been impossible to port to the Nintendo Switch without a dramatic drop in graphics quality. Id Software proved all the critics wrong, by delivering the same next-generation Doom experience, now playable on the go through the Nintendo Switch! Then to up the ante, Id Software re-released the same title on VR headsets such as the Oculus Rift to thunderous acclaim! Doom delivers on every level, from its incredible graphics to blood-soaked combat! This title is a must buy for any console or PC, as it is the most solid Halo competitor in years! 

5) Tekken 7

Tekken 7 is without a doubt the greatest fighting game of 2017! The sheer scale of the fighting game mechanics alone makes it a contender, but its the flawless online mode combined with the greatest roster of characters since the series inception that makes Tekken 7 the greatest Tekken release ever! The graphics are mesmerizing in execution, and the combos go on for eternity! There is so much replay value in Tekken 7, that it puts nearly every other fighting game including the good but underwhelming Street Fighter V to shame!

4) Okami HD

What more is there to say about Okami that hasn't already been said? Its one of the most innovative game releases ever, borrowing from Japanese folklore, interwoven with surrealism and powerful exposition! Now add in an HD 1080P coat of paint, and you have a must purchase title!

3) Forza Motorsport 7

Forza Motorsport 7 is the definitive best racing title of 2017! The game's graphics are stunningly photorealistic. Every car brand has detail oozing off the fenders and straight onto the turbocharged, ultra-realistic racing tracks! The online mode is executed flawlessly with zero lag, and you can customize your whip down to the most minute details! Forza Motorsport 7 features better support for steering wheel controllers than any other game in its class. This game feels like you are driving a car in real time, the accuracy of the physics is absolutely astounding! Every moment of this game is a joy to experience, and if you love cars, you are doing yourself no favors by skipping Forza Motorsport 7!

2) Super Mario Odyssey

Yes believe it or not...Super Mario Odyssey only made the #2 spot this year! Surprisingly, given how near perfect this game truly is. This is Mario brought into the next-generation, and a perfect example of why Super Mario is still relevant. The worlds feel alive and organic, Mario controls flawlessly, and the platforming elements once again ensure Nintendo's absolute dominance over the platformer essentials! The music is so beautiful that you will often forget you are playing, and the worlds Nintendo has designed so beautifully the worlds, that you can spend hours getting lost in Mario's new world! Every little detail is polished so well, that you can enjoy the game just fooling around just as much as progressing through the main quests. This is a platformer perfected, and in a year of terrible, underwhelming platformers, Mario once again reigns as champion! So you wonder...what game could remain better than Super Mario Odyssey, and take the title of best 2017 game?

1) Assasins Creed: Origins

It was no contest at all! Ubisoft's Assasins Creed: Origins is the 2017 Game Of The Year!!! Every moment of this adventure will turn you into an addict! The Egyptian worlds are photo-realistically rendered to perfection! Combat is smoother than silk and the storyline is both exciting and engaging! Every action you perform as a warrior holds weight and consequence. The boss fights are stunning to behold, and this game is the overlord of all open-world video games! It will take you months to explore all this game has to offer with a single playthrough, as Ubisoft has accurately re-created Egypt down to the last detail in stunning 4K resolution! Assassinations are more powerful, deadlier, and sexier than ever before! Where Assasins Creed Unity fell flat on its sword, Origins delivers the knock-out blow! This is the action game to define the entire industry! No open-world release will ever be the same after Origins, because this game single handedly stole the crown from GTAV and has reset the bar!