My apologies for this blog running a tad dry on updates my friends! I have been exploring other business ventures, but regular updates will now return! 2017 was a tough year for video games. It was the year we saw the unfortunate rise of ugly microtransactions, once confined to mobile games, now infected our core Triple AAA titles like a virulent virus! So to honor the year's end, here is Splintered Joysticks Top 10 Worst and Best video games of 2017, starting with the cream of the CRAP!
10) Destiny 2
Let's face it; Destiny has had a rocky go from the beginning. The characters are shite compared to Halo. The story is a confusing vapid mess of exposition and worthless dialogue. The expansion passes and shady DLC practices are entirely out of control! Sure Destiny has admittedly incredible graphics, but as we have learned in 2017 that does not alone create a fantastic gaming experience! You need reliable gameplay mechanics to back it up! Destiny's pointless grinding ruins the otherwise solid combat, and its sequel did little to fix this issue even with the Curse of Osiris DLC! Let's hope that Bungie gets the feedback and makes the next Destiny far less repetitive in its execution.
9) The Sims 4
The Sims 4 is a disgrace. Everything about this game is a downgrade from The Sims 3 on every level! The graphics are terrible compared to its predecessor, janky and blocky. The gameplay is a severe downgrade with fewer choices for the player than ever before! Less freedom, fewer options, and barebones customization features! Its as if Axis Studios and EA just said "**** it!" and threw this game together from The Sims 3 in a blender, then removed features from The Sims 3 that didn't need to get fixed or removed! Bottom line, this game is trash and an utter insult to the franchise.
8) Star Wars Battlefront II
Oh, how the mighty DICE has fallen by making a deal with the devil! Star Wars Battlefront II would have been an incredible video game, the best Star Wars game in years if not for the pure evil that is and always will be Electronic Arts! EA's insistence on sinister randomized loot boxes and Pay-To-Win ruins any competitive value this game has. Want to play as Darth Vader or Luke Skywalker? Give us your money bitch, or grind for over 40 hours like a moron! Rinse and repeat for every single level and unlockable. Have cash? Win matches. On a budget? You're doomed! Sound like fun? Pre-order now and dump it into a trash can!!!
7) Sonic Forces
Except for Super Mario and Cuphead, 2017 was the year of shitty and disappointing platformers! Sonic Forces isn't the worst game on this list, but it is by FAR my most disappointing entry. I wanted this game to be fantastic so severely! My hopes were dashed. Sure, the custom Sonic avatars are fun to use in the game, and Classic Sonic makes a return. Its too bad the story is a joke, the levels are boring retreads of Sonic Unleashed, Generations, and Colors.
Worse still, the controls are utter garbage, with characters running either too fast or slow. And this game is WAY TOO EASY!!! It's like an automatic platformer where Sonic rushes from left to right with his boost ability, and you don't need to care if you land on a platform or not. Old Genesis Sonic games required skill to win, now you just spam the boost button and win every time with no challenge. Everything about the experience is underwhelming, and this series is on its last legs. Either Sega learns to copy Sonic Adventure 2's formula, or they abandon the franchise to death with dignity.
6) Super Lucky's Tale
Whereas Sonic Forces was a disappointing game with potential, Super Lucky's Tale is just a mediocre game at best. The characters are forgettable, the worlds bland and uninspired, the platforming subpar and the voice acting cringeworthy! The camera works when it feels like it, the enemy AI is dumb as bricks, and every moment of playing this game feels like a tedious chore. Nothing else to say, this game doesn't deserve any further analysis!
5) Marvel VS Capcom: Infinite
This game demonstrates why Capcom is struggling. Its as if they completely forgot how to make an experience like Marvel VS Capcom 2, even Marvel VS Capcom 3 to an extent! The graphics are worse than MVC3, the gameplay is stale with button masher combos, the character roster is a pitiful display, the DLC options are weak, and the online mode is so laggy that it renders gameplay unplayable! Do yourself a favor, and wait for Capcom to release Marvel VS Capcom 4 and save your money from this trash.
4) ELEX
The only saving grace of the travesty of ELEX's unflinching ineptitude is its above average graphics. Everything else about ELEX is pure shite! The gameplay is stale and formulaic, with zero enemy variety! The story becomes so filled with plot holes you could cook Swiss cheese! The characters are laughably horrible and unlikable; you will want your annoying protagonist to die at every slogfest playing this shite. Expect to fight the same generic waves of enemies over and over again, with uninspired shooting and hack & slash mechanics that have all been done better in older releases. A complete waste of your time, money, and sanity!
3) Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back
What more needs to become said? Can't you realize that this game is ****ing terrible just by looking at it? Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back's gameplay remains unspeakably broken, the graphics are awful, and Bubsy will make you want to hang kittens with his disgustingly terrible voice acting! The platforming is so broken and unplayable that I hesitate even to call this abomination a platformer! The control schemes are laughably horrendous, the level designs are so basic and pathetic that you don't care, and did I mention how much of an obnoxious asshole Bubsy is? At least Sonic Forces contain some semblance of dignity, whereas Bubsy never had any pride and needed to die immediately.
2) Overgrowth
This game redefines barebones. The worlds are open-ended but empty and lifeless. The characters are all forgettable cardboard cutouts! The combat is so stale and dead that you will never care. So dull in its execution, so monotonous in the endless grinding for useless collectibles just to fight the same enemies over and over and over again! Overgrowth involves traversing empty, lifeless landscapes only to engage in a tedium inducing button mash fest before holding your analog stick forward for several hours before more boring and pointless combat. The AI is so brain-dead that you can attack them without them responding. Graphical glitches abound, as textures flash in and out during gameplay. Did I mention how dead this game is? You will spend hours walking without a single enemy combatant finding you sometimes at random! What a disgrace! Overgrowth is a waste of your time on every level.
1) Mass Effect: Andromeda
Words cannot even begin to express my hatred of Mass Effect Andromeda! The story is an abomination that discards every lesson Bioware implanted on its fans with the original masterpiece trilogy (and my favorite game series of all time beforehand). Understand this, I lived and BREATHED the original Mass Effect. Andromeda is NOT Mass Effect; it is a hollow con, a lie. I don't give a fuck how beautiful this game is running at 4k; the glitches are everywhere, the characters are beyond disgustingly ugly. Mass Effect was all about giving players a choice; now the excellent Paragon Renegade system is removed for pure garbage! All the characters are horrible; I hate them all with a burning passion. This universe needs to die Bioware; WE WANT COMMANDER SHEPARD AND CREW FOR MASS EFFECT 4! All the races have become severly downgraded, even the Asari and Krogans are uglier, with worse character designs and questionable motivations!
We fell in love with the original Mass Effect Bioware because of the amazing story and characters. The excellent gameplay and graphics were just icing on the cake but without those core elements its no longer a Mass Effect game, but a travesty. The good news is Manveer Heir (the dickhead responsible for this cancer) became fired from Bioware, so perhaps we will see a true return to form for this once legendary franchise to its true and proper form. Until then, Mass Effect Andromeda is without a doubt in my mind, the worst game of 2017! Bioware needs to go back to the drawing board with Mass Effect, and bring Commander Shepard and crew back from the dead with an all new adventure. Or guess what Bioware and EA? WE AREN'T BUYING YOUR GAME!!!
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
The Power of Reboots
When done correctly, a remake can inspire veteran players to revisit a game for the nostalgic value, or newcomers to pick up a franchise they didn't consider before! Done poorly, however, a remake can incense and infuriate gamers by making a version that changes little from the original, or makes the game worse! Creating a successful reboot of a franchise that players already love is a very delicate process that needs attention, detail, and care. The tiniest adjustments can throw off the balance of classic features that made the original a popular franchise initially. But if the game does little to improve on its precursor, then there is little incentive for gamers to upgrade to the rebooted version!
The best reboots keep what is faithful to the original game alive while improving every technical aspect for a new generation. The Legend of Zelda's Wind Waker HD remake is a perfect example. The graphics received a 1080p polish!The draw distance while sailing from island to island is remarkably improved during sea-faring combat! Despite the failure of the Wii U console, Nintendo did an excellent job utilizing the controller's second screen as a convenient item inventory menu you can access without pausing the game! Its little details such as this that makes a reboot excellent.
A reboot has to not only deliver all the original quality of the predecessor but improve on existing elements to craft a newer and better gaming experience!
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
LIFE IS STRANGE: BEFORE THE STORM
Life Is Strange: Before The Storm is a new direction for Square Enix. A choose your own adventure narrative video-game, where every choice has its consequences.You play as 16-year-old college student Chole Price. She becomes an anti-authoritarian delinquent following the demise of her father and forms a romantic yet self-destructive relationship with the enigmatic Rachel Ambers.
The story branches become unique depending on how you play the game. There is an unusual ending that an average of only 5% of gamers was able to complete the third Life Is Strange episode. Chloe's relationship with Rachel evolves as the storyline progresses, and your choices interacting with NPS affect the game's level progression system. Every judgment and decision carries weight in the game and will change the ending. Its the rare combination of excellent graphics and open-world gameplay that assists Life Is Strange in becoming a standout title!
The story branches become unique depending on how you play the game. There is an unusual ending that an average of only 5% of gamers was able to complete the third Life Is Strange episode. Chloe's relationship with Rachel evolves as the storyline progresses, and your choices interacting with NPS affect the game's level progression system. Every judgment and decision carries weight in the game and will change the ending. Its the rare combination of excellent graphics and open-world gameplay that assists Life Is Strange in becoming a standout title!
Monday, December 18, 2017
Vroom In The Night Sky for Nintendo Switch
Vroom In The Night Sky is terrible, one of the worst Nintendo Switch titles of 2017. This game isn't bad funnily or entertainingly frustrating. No, this title is garbage because this game makes ******* Superman 64, released for the N64 over a decade ago look like a fair and balanced, unbroken experience. There is nothing funny about this trainwreck, the controls of Vroom In The Night Sky resemble whiskey straight from the bottle drunk driving straight into a telephone pole. It gets more pleasant from here on out. The camera only gives a fuck when it feels like it, so you trend flying off to the right and exploding constantly. Fly off the right and explode! It's the whole game, the batshit nauseating Ride To Hell Retribution (one of the worst video games ever released) motorcycle controls with a cartoon splash of paint mechanics!
This "racing game" represents Mario Kart 8 Deluxe in execution with the taste of a beautiful, elegant French wine, aging of fermented skunk urine and hobo corns. Unbearably slow, plodding vehicles crashing randomly with no traction on the racing courses. Loading screens everywhere. This is terrible for Triple AAA and indie game development studios who develop video games with no standards or quality control, there is zero effort whatsoever here. The gameplay sucks, weapons fuck, loading screens suck, glitching out of a race and having to restart your Switch on the road and having the game drain your Switch's battery life faster than id's Doom (a far superior Nintendo Switch game) by twice the speed?! RIPOFF!!!!!
Downright atrociously lazy graphics for the Nintendo Switch, which is while not at the graphical capabilities of the Xbox One X or Playstation 4 Pro can hold its weight more than the Wii U. The Nintendo Switch can still render the next-generation Doom from id software and Bethesda Studios profoundly well. Given the current hardware limitations in graphical fidelity when gamers use their Nintendo Switch on the road, the graphics quality takes a noticeable hit, which Nintendo will hopefully fix for the Nintendo Switch 2 (Switch is an excellent name in my opinion, unlike the Wii and Wii U). So this laughable PS1 quality bullshit graphics is inexcusable!
2017 has been a hideous year for video games, despite several significant releases which I will cover in my Top 10 Best and Worst video games of 2017 list, coming early January 2018! But Vroom Race In The Night Sky is so sordid to play, that I won't sully my time giving it any more attention than it deserves.Dreadful, cringe-inducing graphics and horrible gameplay, a complete insult to Nintendo, who themselves still know how to make Triple AAA games with ease, given Super Mario Odyssey's current status as potential Game of the Year. This crap doesn't even scrape the bottom of Mario's polished shoes. Its a turd, flat and dull. Burn all copies of this "game" on sight!
Graphics: 0/10
Gameplay: 0/10
Sound: 0/10
Replay Value: Wait...wait...AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA *gasp*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! -9000/10
Final Verdict: F-, 0/10, (POISONOUS FILTH!!!)
This "racing game" represents Mario Kart 8 Deluxe in execution with the taste of a beautiful, elegant French wine, aging of fermented skunk urine and hobo corns. Unbearably slow, plodding vehicles crashing randomly with no traction on the racing courses. Loading screens everywhere. This is terrible for Triple AAA and indie game development studios who develop video games with no standards or quality control, there is zero effort whatsoever here. The gameplay sucks, weapons fuck, loading screens suck, glitching out of a race and having to restart your Switch on the road and having the game drain your Switch's battery life faster than id's Doom (a far superior Nintendo Switch game) by twice the speed?! RIPOFF!!!!!
Downright atrociously lazy graphics for the Nintendo Switch, which is while not at the graphical capabilities of the Xbox One X or Playstation 4 Pro can hold its weight more than the Wii U. The Nintendo Switch can still render the next-generation Doom from id software and Bethesda Studios profoundly well. Given the current hardware limitations in graphical fidelity when gamers use their Nintendo Switch on the road, the graphics quality takes a noticeable hit, which Nintendo will hopefully fix for the Nintendo Switch 2 (Switch is an excellent name in my opinion, unlike the Wii and Wii U). So this laughable PS1 quality bullshit graphics is inexcusable!
2017 has been a hideous year for video games, despite several significant releases which I will cover in my Top 10 Best and Worst video games of 2017 list, coming early January 2018! But Vroom Race In The Night Sky is so sordid to play, that I won't sully my time giving it any more attention than it deserves.Dreadful, cringe-inducing graphics and horrible gameplay, a complete insult to Nintendo, who themselves still know how to make Triple AAA games with ease, given Super Mario Odyssey's current status as potential Game of the Year. This crap doesn't even scrape the bottom of Mario's polished shoes. Its a turd, flat and dull. Burn all copies of this "game" on sight!
Graphics: 0/10
Gameplay: 0/10
Sound: 0/10
Replay Value: Wait...wait...AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA *gasp*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! -9000/10
Final Verdict: F-, 0/10, (POISONOUS FILTH!!!)
Friday, December 15, 2017
Cities XXL: A Garbage SimCity Ripoff
That's right, we now have Cities XXL, a complete ripoff of SimCity with twice as many bugs, glitches, more downgrades than ever before! Steam will crash 1/2 the time you even attempt to start this trainwreck of a video game! It gets far worse! There are zero changes from SimCity, the tools are nearly identical. Except that when SimCity loads, you can still build buildings. Here, the game crashes before you can create anything!!! Essentially, you are paying full price for a small DLC expansion of the last Cities game, WITH ZERO NEW FEATURES!!!
Every feature is a downgrade from Simcity, with just as many or more glitches that make the game downright impossible to play without rage quitting! The loading screens take forever to start up a level, to the point you will quickly want to go outside, the loading screens are worse than Sonic The Hedgehog 2006's abysmal loading times! Gamestop is now charging $10.00 which is a complete ripoff for this absolute trash! Rivers are modeled insanely out of scale, highways and roundabouts just flat out refuse to function no matter how you design them!
The characters are terrible, and the graphics are unimpressive by 2017 standards! Performance dips far below average, even on top of the line personal computers due to terrible net-code! Bottom line: if you want to pay full price for a completely useless expansion to an already below average gaming experience, be my guest with Cities XXL!
Final Verdict:
Graphics: 2/10
Gameplay: 0/10
Sound: 1/10
Replay Value: 0/10
Overall: 0/10 (Abysmal Garbage!)
GTA 5 Doomsday Heist
Grand Theft Auto 5 gets its most significant expansion yet with GTA Doomsday!
This update from the legendary game development studio Rockstar Games (also in charge of the excellent Red Dead Redemption Series) is entirely free for GTA's Online mode! PC, PS4, and Xbox One players can all play The Doomsday Heist, an expansion to GTA's Heist Mode. You and your squad are fighting to stop world destruction through negotiating through ruthless Freemode tactical setup operations using experimental weapons and combat vehicles. Rockstar promises that the end delivers an over-the-top final boss that will net the player rare, exclusive unlockable characters, weapons, and gear should gamers complete The Doomsday Heist.
You will do everything from breaking into secret military bases, go on bombing runs, even drive a flying car! You cannot afford if you own Grand Theft Auto 5 to miss this incredible, and FREE expansion from Rockstar's legendary team! A sincere salute to players, and a fight against the evils of microtransactions with FREE DLC!!! Take notes triple AAA gaming developers, this is how you get invested gamers in purchasing a future product!
This update from the legendary game development studio Rockstar Games (also in charge of the excellent Red Dead Redemption Series) is entirely free for GTA's Online mode! PC, PS4, and Xbox One players can all play The Doomsday Heist, an expansion to GTA's Heist Mode. You and your squad are fighting to stop world destruction through negotiating through ruthless Freemode tactical setup operations using experimental weapons and combat vehicles. Rockstar promises that the end delivers an over-the-top final boss that will net the player rare, exclusive unlockable characters, weapons, and gear should gamers complete The Doomsday Heist.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Fight To Save Net Neutrality!!!! DO NOT LET THE FCC WIN!!!
On this very dark and unthinkable day, the FCC has banned Net Neutrality by a 2 to 3 vote margin! Everyone who has ever cared about freedom and their Internet access needs to fight this in congress unrelentingly! This vote is a complete middle finger to the American voter on every single level. Now big-name corporations can force American citizens to use the Internet the way they want, and will charge you straight out of the ass for it! Gone will be the days of free Facebook access, and you can bet Youtube may become poisoned by no net neutrality as well.
Free speech will die with this FCC ban. Naturally, Donald Trump is thrilled with this ruling because it will give him higher power and control to silence the critics and news outlets who speak out against him (and there are many), so he can paint a vicious smokescreen and pull the wool over everyone's eyes. America must fight back against this tyranny at all costs! Net Neutrality ensures Americans freedom of speech on the Internet. Now the FCC is fighting to take your freedom away, one hidden fee and charge at a time. Imagine the evils of microtransactions, spread out across the entire world wide web, and see how this move by the FCC is pure venom directed at the very principles of freedom, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!
Make no mistake, if the FCC is allowed to keep Net Neutrality repealed, it could very well spell the death of the Internet as we know it!!! This is blasphemy by the FCC! An OUTRAGE!!! We must stand up and fight back against this evil, for it will destroy decades of technological progress if allowed to fester and continue in any way, shape, or form! DO NOT SWALLOW THE FCC'S BULLSHIT!!! FIGHT BACK! Write your congressmen and politicians! The Internet itself is in danger, and we must fight against the FCC or let them win and lose the Internet forever to a misuse of influence, corporate greed, and exploitation of freedom!
Free speech will die with this FCC ban. Naturally, Donald Trump is thrilled with this ruling because it will give him higher power and control to silence the critics and news outlets who speak out against him (and there are many), so he can paint a vicious smokescreen and pull the wool over everyone's eyes. America must fight back against this tyranny at all costs! Net Neutrality ensures Americans freedom of speech on the Internet. Now the FCC is fighting to take your freedom away, one hidden fee and charge at a time. Imagine the evils of microtransactions, spread out across the entire world wide web, and see how this move by the FCC is pure venom directed at the very principles of freedom, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!
Opus Magnum
When it comes to innovative and challenging puzzle games, few current titles in 2017 can match the ambitious scope and execution of Opus Magnum! Opus Magnum is about far more than merely completing a level, you design custom robots to solve puzzles more efficiently. Each and every piece you add or subtract to your custom robot determines the success you will have with every problem.
In Opus Magnum's future utopia, alchemy is the foundation of society, and devices can transform water into fuel, lead to gold, and far more! Your machines move and shift with enjoyable mechanical clacks and clunk as the vivid 2D art style pops right off the screen! Science and magic blend harmoniously in this game, and it is your job as the player to determine the best combinations. Every task doesn't have a "correct" solution to any puzzle, encouraging experimentation and innovation over frustration and tedium! You have no mandatory score to set, but the near-infinite freedom to design your machines to serve any purpose!
Opus Magnum tracks how long it takes the player to assemble their robots, how many hex tiles you consume while building, and the costs of every piece. These qualities frequently conflict with each other. Sometimes you will want to spend more money quicker, other times you need to build small to conserve your resources, as every level requires different design combinations to win!
The level of ingenuity in Opus Magnum is staggering! You can spend days tinkering with all the customization options to build your machines and still never run out of new parts to salvage, advanced robot mechanics to design, and new puzzles to solve thanks to the developers promise of free in-game updates! Opus Magnum raises the bar for every puzzle game moving forward, and is the best entry this genre has seen since the halcyon days of Tetris and Dr.Mario! A must purchase Triple AAA title, a puzzle game like none other!
Final Verdict:
Graphics: 9/10
Gameplay: 10/10
Sound: 10/10
Replay Value: 9.8/10
Overall: 9.8/10 (Amazing!)
In Opus Magnum's future utopia, alchemy is the foundation of society, and devices can transform water into fuel, lead to gold, and far more! Your machines move and shift with enjoyable mechanical clacks and clunk as the vivid 2D art style pops right off the screen! Science and magic blend harmoniously in this game, and it is your job as the player to determine the best combinations. Every task doesn't have a "correct" solution to any puzzle, encouraging experimentation and innovation over frustration and tedium! You have no mandatory score to set, but the near-infinite freedom to design your machines to serve any purpose!
Opus Magnum tracks how long it takes the player to assemble their robots, how many hex tiles you consume while building, and the costs of every piece. These qualities frequently conflict with each other. Sometimes you will want to spend more money quicker, other times you need to build small to conserve your resources, as every level requires different design combinations to win!
The level of ingenuity in Opus Magnum is staggering! You can spend days tinkering with all the customization options to build your machines and still never run out of new parts to salvage, advanced robot mechanics to design, and new puzzles to solve thanks to the developers promise of free in-game updates! Opus Magnum raises the bar for every puzzle game moving forward, and is the best entry this genre has seen since the halcyon days of Tetris and Dr.Mario! A must purchase Triple AAA title, a puzzle game like none other!
Final Verdict:
Graphics: 9/10
Gameplay: 10/10
Sound: 10/10
Replay Value: 9.8/10
Overall: 9.8/10 (Amazing!)
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Hello Neighbor
Hello Neighbor should have become a video game I liked. A survival horror based adventure with cartoon visuals and an innovative premise? Sign me up! Unfortunately despite its powerful and unique concept, Hello Neighbor utterly fails upon its execution with poor level design and profoundly confusing puzzles that leave the player throwing their controller against the wall in agony!
The game operates through stealth mechanics. Your goal is to use the provided three acts to find a way to infiltrate the neighbor's basement and uncover what he is hiding. However, as the floor plan evolves into more elaborate fixtures, pacing issues begin right away. Hello, Neighbor's frustratingly inverse difficulty curve makes stealth sections a game of whack a mole trying to avoid the neighbor. Good survival horror games such as Resident Evil amp up the tension with solid gameplay mechanics and frightening monsters to fight. Here, all pressure is surgically removed due to the cartoon style, which wouldn't matter if the stealth mechanics were any good. Here's a hint, they are not. You are more likely to get caught due to glitches and poor programming mechanics, then lack of individual skill.
The biggest problem with this game is that it does an atrociously poor job of teaching the player which interactions are possible in the worlds you explore. You are consistently lost, and the game gives you no clues how to progress forward, so everything is a clumsy trial and error process! The neighbor is smart enough to design traps based on your movements, but good luck figuring out where they are placed! When the game gives you so few tools to work with! Its a frustrating, tedious grind with illogically designed puzzles that have no ingenuity, with crappy stealth mechanics and a lackluster progression system that cripples any potential Hello Neighbor could have had. As it stands, its a frustrating mess of a game I highly recommend you avoid at all costs!
Final Verdict:
Graphics: 6/10
Gameplay: 3/10
Sound: 4/10
Replay Value: 1/10
Overall: 3/10 (Terrible!)
The game operates through stealth mechanics. Your goal is to use the provided three acts to find a way to infiltrate the neighbor's basement and uncover what he is hiding. However, as the floor plan evolves into more elaborate fixtures, pacing issues begin right away. Hello, Neighbor's frustratingly inverse difficulty curve makes stealth sections a game of whack a mole trying to avoid the neighbor. Good survival horror games such as Resident Evil amp up the tension with solid gameplay mechanics and frightening monsters to fight. Here, all pressure is surgically removed due to the cartoon style, which wouldn't matter if the stealth mechanics were any good. Here's a hint, they are not. You are more likely to get caught due to glitches and poor programming mechanics, then lack of individual skill.
The biggest problem with this game is that it does an atrociously poor job of teaching the player which interactions are possible in the worlds you explore. You are consistently lost, and the game gives you no clues how to progress forward, so everything is a clumsy trial and error process! The neighbor is smart enough to design traps based on your movements, but good luck figuring out where they are placed! When the game gives you so few tools to work with! Its a frustrating, tedious grind with illogically designed puzzles that have no ingenuity, with crappy stealth mechanics and a lackluster progression system that cripples any potential Hello Neighbor could have had. As it stands, its a frustrating mess of a game I highly recommend you avoid at all costs!
Final Verdict:
Graphics: 6/10
Gameplay: 3/10
Sound: 4/10
Replay Value: 1/10
Overall: 3/10 (Terrible!)
WWE 2K18
You will quickly find the WWE 2K18 port for the Nintendo Switch is a glitch-ridden, buggy mess of a video game, an inferior port to the Xbox One X and PS4 Pro versions at genuinely unacceptable levels! The performance is janky and terrible when your Switch is plugged in, but if you take the game on the go, prepare for an unplayable crawling nightmare, in which the framerate can spike below 20 to 10 FPS at random!!!
Every wrestler moves at half speed compared to the Xbox One X and PlayStation 4 Pro versions. Constant jarring framerate drops interrupt the action, as character movements are rendered so poorly out of sync, gameplay devolves into a stereotypical button masher devoid of fun or purpose! Even worse than the horrible framerates, the audio crackles at random during gameplay, as characters will get cut off mid-dialogue. WWE 2K18 can also freeze on you when the audio glitches start mating with the framerate drops and force you to restart your Nintendo Switch to play a mediocre game. Not worth it at all! The lack of polish in this port is astonishing, it's downright abysmal when your port looks worse, sounds worse, and plays even uglier. Bottom line, this is a prime example of how NEVER to release a port!
Final Verdict:
Gameplay: 3/10
Graphics: 4/10
Sound: 1/10
Replay Value: 0/10
Final Score: 2/10 (Garbage!)
Saturday, December 9, 2017
Destiny 2: Curse of Osiris & More Underwhelming DLC
Destiny 2 is a disaster. It improves little of the problems with the first Destiny but adds a host of more Season Passes and frustrating DLC practices. Bungie's Curse of Osiris is the first expansion that attempts to put out the fires of gamer rage. But while the expansion has several notable improvements including new story missions and sidequests, most of its gains are subtle, and not enough to solve Destiny's grind-fests and random DLC nightmares!
A six-person squad raid mission, along with new weapon and armor sets is included. For 20$ there is a lot of original content, but it is not enough. The campaign is still monotonous in constant Horde mode fights! Despite beautiful graphics and stunning vistas, the characters in Destiny 2 remain bland and forgettable, with questionable and unsatisfying plot narratives at every single turn!
On the plus side, a new antagonist joins the fray and has intelligent AI to boot, giving Destiny fans the best boss fight since the series inception. Combat mechanics have become tightened up in their execution, as you maneuver through a carbon-rich No Man's Sky sandbox filled with enemies who manipulate time and space. The trouble is, that is all you get for 20$! You're still left with grinding for hours, and random loot drops. You're always dealing with fighting the same generic waves of enemies over and over again in Horde mode with no variety!
Worst of all, Bungie and Activision are still selling you the game in increments, forcing you to shell out more and more money to get the complete game, the post-release DLC patch nightmare. Why can't this content have come standard with Destiny 2's launch? It's unacceptable that we have to shell out money for an incomplete launch experience, and one with only minor improvements to the overall glaring problems that still plague this franchise!
A six-person squad raid mission, along with new weapon and armor sets is included. For 20$ there is a lot of original content, but it is not enough. The campaign is still monotonous in constant Horde mode fights! Despite beautiful graphics and stunning vistas, the characters in Destiny 2 remain bland and forgettable, with questionable and unsatisfying plot narratives at every single turn!
On the plus side, a new antagonist joins the fray and has intelligent AI to boot, giving Destiny fans the best boss fight since the series inception. Combat mechanics have become tightened up in their execution, as you maneuver through a carbon-rich No Man's Sky sandbox filled with enemies who manipulate time and space. The trouble is, that is all you get for 20$! You're still left with grinding for hours, and random loot drops. You're always dealing with fighting the same generic waves of enemies over and over again in Horde mode with no variety!
Worst of all, Bungie and Activision are still selling you the game in increments, forcing you to shell out more and more money to get the complete game, the post-release DLC patch nightmare. Why can't this content have come standard with Destiny 2's launch? It's unacceptable that we have to shell out money for an incomplete launch experience, and one with only minor improvements to the overall glaring problems that still plague this franchise!
Friday, December 8, 2017
Farming Simulator 17
On the surface, Farming Simulator 17 doesn't look like it will be a fun experience. I mean, who wants to play a video game where all you do is plow wheat with a tractor and shear sheep? Appearances, however, are deceiving. Farming Simulator 17 is a pixel-perfect rendition of running an actual farm. You can grow a multitude of crops including corn and tomatoes, as well as raising livestock. Tools that real farmers utilize are at your disposal, including tractors, cars, trains, plows, wheelbarrows and more!
The environments are beautiful to look at, ranging from rolling green fields to sandy dunes. You can interact with other farmers in real-time. The tires interact with the environment down to minute details, with mud caking itself upon the tires, every tooth of a Combine Harvester is accounted for, and the lakes sparkle. You can explore your farms on foot, or use Farming Simulator's numerous vehicles to traverse the landscapes more quickly.
It's the small details that make Farming Simulator stand out, the endless variety of tools at your disposal and the fun of micromanaging your farms and protecting them from the elements, all while fighting to sell more crops than your competitors that makes Farming Simulator 17 unique! There are endless varieties of farmland you can tend to, and the game somehow doesn't become boring because you have so many options. Farming Simulator 17 is a sleeper hit of 2017 for sure! Because who would have imagined that building a farm would be a fun video-game?
Final Verdict:
Graphics: 10/10
Gameplay: 8/10
Sound: 8/10
Replay Value: 8/10
Overall: 8/10 (Great!)
The environments are beautiful to look at, ranging from rolling green fields to sandy dunes. You can interact with other farmers in real-time. The tires interact with the environment down to minute details, with mud caking itself upon the tires, every tooth of a Combine Harvester is accounted for, and the lakes sparkle. You can explore your farms on foot, or use Farming Simulator's numerous vehicles to traverse the landscapes more quickly.
It's the small details that make Farming Simulator stand out, the endless variety of tools at your disposal and the fun of micromanaging your farms and protecting them from the elements, all while fighting to sell more crops than your competitors that makes Farming Simulator 17 unique! There are endless varieties of farmland you can tend to, and the game somehow doesn't become boring because you have so many options. Farming Simulator 17 is a sleeper hit of 2017 for sure! Because who would have imagined that building a farm would be a fun video-game?
Final Verdict:
Graphics: 10/10
Gameplay: 8/10
Sound: 8/10
Replay Value: 8/10
Overall: 8/10 (Great!)
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Fallout 4 VR
Fallout 4 is now getting a fresh update for VR, HTC Vive, and Oculus Rift! Experience the craft building sensation that took the gaming world by storm. All the gory guns and weapon arsenals, the open world, and intelligent crafting tools return from the PC version, now updated for 4K and 360-degree immersion!
Although DLC content isn't included in the VR release, Bethesda Studios assures fans that the rest of the game runs at full steam! DLC may become added down the pipeline, but you're still getting hundreds of in-game missions and a massive world to explore. Mod support is in beta currently, as the current Fallout VR release does not support it. However, Bethesda doesn't rule out the possibility of gamers learning how to mod the VR release with the Creation Club content.
This is an entry that needs to get played to become believed! One of the most exceptional VR titles of 2017 to early 2018. Everything you loved about Fallout 4, now with full VR immersion! It's a no-brainer!
Although DLC content isn't included in the VR release, Bethesda Studios assures fans that the rest of the game runs at full steam! DLC may become added down the pipeline, but you're still getting hundreds of in-game missions and a massive world to explore. Mod support is in beta currently, as the current Fallout VR release does not support it. However, Bethesda doesn't rule out the possibility of gamers learning how to mod the VR release with the Creation Club content.
This is an entry that needs to get played to become believed! One of the most exceptional VR titles of 2017 to early 2018. Everything you loved about Fallout 4, now with full VR immersion! It's a no-brainer!
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Top 3 Fighting Games of 2017
1) Street Fighter 5
Despite a rocky launch, Street Fighter 5 still holds healthy weight as one of the best competitive fighting games of 2017. Akuma gets a Mufasa hairdo and badass new combos, and all the fan favorites sans Sagat (for some horrible reason) return to the fray. I will admit, this game's online mode is still awful, but the fighting game mechanics still hold up from Street Fighter IV.
2)
Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3
Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3 had shoddy DLC practices, by charging players for content already on the disk, as Angry Joe dutifully exposed (and without Megaman?!?!):
Despite the fact that the absence of Megaman (big mistake Capcom) Marvel VS Capcom 3's game mechanics are still satisfying in their execution and fluidity. Its a shame Capcom's shady DLC tactics took lots of opportunities away from this game. Because the core mechanics that made Marvel VS Capcom 2 amazing as a fighter are still here, it's just this game fails to live up to its massive hype, but this by no means makes it a bad game, just far from its prequel's level of quality. Just don't expect an amazing online mode unless they make you buy another version :( In case you couldn't tell, despite great games in 2017, 2017 was also a year of mediocre to poor releases far exceeding the best games.
3) Tekken 7
And now I present the BEST OF THE BEST!!! Between these three entries, I had no other choice but to name Tekken 7 the fighting game of the year! Everything about Namco's latest entry reeks of polish and perfectionism. This game combines all of the most excellent elements that make both Soul Calibur and Virtual Fighter amazing and throws them into a superhuman blender! Combos execute silky smooth as butter, running at 4K resolution!
Best of all, Street Fighter's legendarily broken Akuma joins the fray, with all of his signature Dark Hadou powers, including the Raging Demon! But every single fighter in Tekken 7 feels impressive. The combat is simple to learn, profoundly skill gap learning curve with deep mechanics that only the best gamers will master. Every single stage looks incredible; the environments range from ninja warrior temples to snowcapped battlefields and fiery volcanoes! The polish from Namco is off the charts, and the online mode is the best of 2017, with little input lag! Tekken 7 is without a doubt, the fighting game of the year in 2017, and an incredible entry, solidifying Namco as the current king of fighting games.
P.S: Honorable mention to the Super Smash Bros game on the Wii U, which is a fantastic game, better than Super Smash Bros Brawl, but the Wii U sucked and flopped hardcore. Hopefully, the much better Nintendo Switch, and a great Super Smash Bros entry can turn the tide as deserved!
Despite a rocky launch, Street Fighter 5 still holds healthy weight as one of the best competitive fighting games of 2017. Akuma gets a Mufasa hairdo and badass new combos, and all the fan favorites sans Sagat (for some horrible reason) return to the fray. I will admit, this game's online mode is still awful, but the fighting game mechanics still hold up from Street Fighter IV.
2)
Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3
Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3 had shoddy DLC practices, by charging players for content already on the disk, as Angry Joe dutifully exposed (and without Megaman?!?!):
Despite the fact that the absence of Megaman (big mistake Capcom) Marvel VS Capcom 3's game mechanics are still satisfying in their execution and fluidity. Its a shame Capcom's shady DLC tactics took lots of opportunities away from this game. Because the core mechanics that made Marvel VS Capcom 2 amazing as a fighter are still here, it's just this game fails to live up to its massive hype, but this by no means makes it a bad game, just far from its prequel's level of quality. Just don't expect an amazing online mode unless they make you buy another version :( In case you couldn't tell, despite great games in 2017, 2017 was also a year of mediocre to poor releases far exceeding the best games.
3) Tekken 7
And now I present the BEST OF THE BEST!!! Between these three entries, I had no other choice but to name Tekken 7 the fighting game of the year! Everything about Namco's latest entry reeks of polish and perfectionism. This game combines all of the most excellent elements that make both Soul Calibur and Virtual Fighter amazing and throws them into a superhuman blender! Combos execute silky smooth as butter, running at 4K resolution!
Best of all, Street Fighter's legendarily broken Akuma joins the fray, with all of his signature Dark Hadou powers, including the Raging Demon! But every single fighter in Tekken 7 feels impressive. The combat is simple to learn, profoundly skill gap learning curve with deep mechanics that only the best gamers will master. Every single stage looks incredible; the environments range from ninja warrior temples to snowcapped battlefields and fiery volcanoes! The polish from Namco is off the charts, and the online mode is the best of 2017, with little input lag! Tekken 7 is without a doubt, the fighting game of the year in 2017, and an incredible entry, solidifying Namco as the current king of fighting games.
P.S: Honorable mention to the Super Smash Bros game on the Wii U, which is a fantastic game, better than Super Smash Bros Brawl, but the Wii U sucked and flopped hardcore. Hopefully, the much better Nintendo Switch, and a great Super Smash Bros entry can turn the tide as deserved!
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