So I saw Blade Runner 2049 today, and all I desire to know is how much top-shelf angel dust Rotten Tomatoes were clearly smoking when they gave this movie an 89% rating? Are you fucking kidding me? I will give this movie credit where it deserves, however, the visuals and art direction are utterly stunning and truly beautiful. Bladerunner 2049 takes you into this future dystopian fantasy with lifelike worlds and captivating set pieces. The environments are incredible to behold, this is a movie you are going to want to see in 3D to get the full weight of the art direction, it is masterfully executed and gorgeous to behold.
Too bad the rest of the film falls flat on its ass in nearly every other category! The main character, acted by Ryan Gosling is so persistently boring that it defies all logic and description. It wouldn't matter if you smashed his mother in the face with a 2x4 or gave him a hundred million dollars, he would still act like a piece of petrified wood. I love Harrison Ford, but his character motivations make little sense, and the fight scene between him and Gosling is so stilted and unnatural that you are continually losing immersion! The villain is so stereotypical you half expect lighting to strike along with an evil laugh vinyl after every line he delivers. Gosling's love interest is quite attractive, but her acting is so robotic and forced, I half imagined steel tendrils to envelop Ryan as he tried to make love to her hologram.
Worst of all, this movie has more cutaways than a fucking Family Guy episode. Every few minutes the film changes direction with a cutaway, you never have the time to get invested into any of the characters or their inner motivations. Not that you would give a fuck anyways because the movie's pacing is so tedious, so monotonous, and so slow that you may pass out halfway through. All of the action feels forced, all the characters motivations feel pointless, and nothing feels natural. Its an absolute shame given that the actors are great, but the script they were handed is so riddled with holes there is no way they can make an unfixable mess work. I wanted to love this movie, and if it were solely about cutting edge technology and art-direction, this movie would place 10/10 for me! But when it comes to a solid script, good character design, and a plot with a satisfying beginning, middle, and end, BladeRunner 2049 falls flat on every conceivable level. Worth watching once for the incredible art direction, but unworthy of repeat views!
Art Direction: 10/10
Story: 4/10
Characters: 6/10
Overall: 6/10 (Slightly Above Average)
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