Vroom In The Night Sky for Nintendo Switch

Vroom In The Night Sky is terrible, one of the worst Nintendo Switch titles of 2017. This game isn't bad funnily or entertainingly frustrating. No, this title is garbage because this game makes ******* Superman 64, released for the N64 over a decade ago look like a fair and balanced, unbroken experience. There is nothing funny about this trainwreck, the controls of Vroom In The Night Sky resemble whiskey straight from the bottle drunk driving straight into a telephone pole. It gets more pleasant from here on out. The camera only gives a fuck when it feels like it, so you trend flying off to the right and exploding constantly. Fly off the right and explode! It's the whole game, the batshit nauseating Ride To Hell Retribution (one of the worst video games ever released) motorcycle controls with a cartoon splash of paint mechanics!

This "racing game" represents Mario Kart 8 Deluxe in execution with the taste of a beautiful, elegant French wine, aging of fermented skunk urine and hobo corns. Unbearably slow, plodding vehicles crashing randomly with no traction on the racing courses. Loading screens everywhere. This is terrible for Triple AAA and indie game development studios who develop video games with no standards or quality control, there is zero effort whatsoever here. The gameplay sucks, weapons fuck, loading screens suck, glitching out of a race and having to restart your Switch on the road and having the game drain your Switch's battery life faster than id's Doom (a far superior Nintendo Switch game) by twice the speed?! RIPOFF!!!!!

Downright atrociously lazy graphics for the Nintendo Switch, which is while not at the graphical capabilities of the Xbox One X or Playstation 4 Pro can hold its weight more than the Wii U. The Nintendo Switch can still render the next-generation Doom from id software and Bethesda Studios profoundly well. Given the current hardware limitations in graphical fidelity when gamers use their Nintendo Switch on the road, the graphics quality takes a noticeable hit, which Nintendo will hopefully fix for the Nintendo Switch 2 (Switch is an excellent name in my opinion, unlike the Wii and Wii U). So this laughable PS1 quality bullshit graphics is inexcusable! 

2017 has been a hideous year for video games, despite several significant releases which I will cover in my Top 10 Best and Worst video games of 2017 list, coming early January 2018! But Vroom Race In The Night Sky is so sordid to play, that I won't sully my time giving it any more attention than it deserves.Dreadful, cringe-inducing graphics and horrible gameplay, a complete insult to Nintendo, who themselves still know how to make Triple AAA games with ease, given Super Mario Odyssey's current status as potential Game of the Year. This crap doesn't even scrape the bottom of Mario's polished shoes. Its a turd, flat and dull. Burn all copies of this "game" on sight!

Graphics: 0/10
Gameplay: 0/10
Sound: 0/10
Replay Value: Wait...wait...AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA *gasp*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! -9000/10
Final Verdict: F-, 0/10, (POISONOUS FILTH!!!)

Cities XXL: A Garbage SimCity Ripoff

If you recall Pro Jared's review of EA's latest SimCity, you will remember that the game is an unplayable catastrophe which refuses to load! The new SimCity crashes continuously, has fewer options and features than previous SimCity games, and is a downright aggravating chore to slog through! What if I were to tell you, there is now another game based on city building which is far...FAR WORSE?!!!

That's right, we now have Cities XXL, a complete ripoff of SimCity with twice as many bugs, glitches, more downgrades than ever before! Steam will crash 1/2 the time you even attempt to start this trainwreck of a video game! It gets far worse! There are zero changes from SimCity, the tools are nearly identical. Except that when SimCity loads, you can still build buildings. Here, the game crashes before you can create anything!!! Essentially, you are paying full price for a small DLC expansion of the last Cities game, WITH ZERO NEW FEATURES!!!

Every feature is a downgrade from Simcity, with just as many or more glitches that make the game downright impossible to play without rage quitting! The loading screens take forever to start up a level, to the point you will quickly want to go outside, the loading screens are worse than Sonic The Hedgehog 2006's abysmal loading times! Gamestop is now charging $10.00 which is a complete ripoff for this absolute trash! Rivers are modeled insanely out of scale, highways and roundabouts just flat out refuse to function no matter how you design them! 

The characters are terrible, and the graphics are unimpressive by 2017 standards! Performance dips far below average, even on top of the line personal computers due to terrible net-code! Bottom line: if you want to pay full price for a completely useless expansion to an already below average gaming experience, be my guest with Cities XXL!

Final Verdict:
Graphics: 2/10
Gameplay: 0/10
Sound: 1/10
Replay Value: 0/10
Overall: 0/10 (Abysmal Garbage!)

GTA 5 Doomsday Heist

Grand Theft Auto 5 gets its most significant expansion yet with GTA Doomsday! 

This update from the legendary game development studio Rockstar Games (also in charge of the excellent Red Dead Redemption Series) is entirely free for GTA's Online mode! PC, PS4, and Xbox One players can all play The Doomsday Heist, an expansion to GTA's Heist Mode. You and your squad are fighting to stop world destruction through negotiating through ruthless Freemode tactical setup operations using experimental weapons and combat vehicles. Rockstar promises that the end delivers an over-the-top final boss that will net the player rare, exclusive unlockable characters, weapons, and gear should gamers complete The Doomsday Heist.

You will do everything from breaking into secret military bases, go on bombing runs, even drive a flying car! You cannot afford if you own Grand Theft Auto 5 to miss this incredible, and FREE expansion from Rockstar's legendary team! A sincere salute to players, and a fight against the evils of microtransactions with FREE DLC!!! Take notes triple AAA gaming developers, this is how you get invested gamers in purchasing a future product!

Fight To Save Net Neutrality!!!! DO NOT LET THE FCC WIN!!!

On this very dark and unthinkable day, the FCC has banned Net Neutrality by a 2 to 3 vote margin! Everyone who has ever cared about freedom and their Internet access needs to fight this in congress unrelentingly! This vote is a complete middle finger to the American voter on every single level. Now big-name corporations can force American citizens to use the Internet the way they want, and will charge you straight out of the ass for it! Gone will be the days of free Facebook access, and you can bet Youtube may become poisoned by no net neutrality as well.

Free speech will die with this FCC ban. Naturally, Donald Trump is thrilled with this ruling because it will give him higher power and control to silence the critics and news outlets who speak out against him (and there are many), so he can paint a vicious smokescreen and pull the wool over everyone's eyes. America must fight back against this tyranny at all costs! Net Neutrality ensures Americans freedom of speech on the Internet. Now the FCC is fighting to take your freedom away, one hidden fee and charge at a time. Imagine the evils of microtransactions, spread out across the entire world wide web, and see how this move by the FCC is pure venom directed at the very principles of freedom, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!

Make no mistake, if the FCC is allowed to keep Net Neutrality repealed, it could very well spell the death of the Internet as we know it!!! This is blasphemy by the FCC! An OUTRAGE!!! We must stand up and fight back against this evil, for it will destroy decades of technological progress if allowed to fester and continue in any way, shape, or form! DO NOT SWALLOW THE FCC'S BULLSHIT!!! FIGHT BACK! Write your congressmen and politicians! The Internet itself is in danger, and we must fight against the FCC or let them win and lose the Internet forever to a misuse of influence, corporate greed, and exploitation of freedom!

Opus Magnum

When it comes to innovative and challenging puzzle games, few current titles in 2017 can match the ambitious scope and execution of Opus Magnum! Opus Magnum is about far more than merely completing a level, you design custom robots to solve puzzles more efficiently. Each and every piece you add or subtract to your custom robot determines the success you will have with every problem. 

In Opus Magnum's future utopia, alchemy is the foundation of society, and devices can transform water into fuel, lead to gold, and far more! Your machines move and shift with enjoyable mechanical clacks and clunk as the vivid 2D art style pops right off the screen! Science and magic blend harmoniously in this game, and it is your job as the player to determine the best combinations. Every task doesn't have a "correct" solution to any puzzle, encouraging experimentation and innovation over frustration and tedium! You have no mandatory score to set, but the near-infinite freedom to design your machines to serve any purpose! 

Opus Magnum tracks how long it takes the player to assemble their robots, how many hex tiles you consume while building, and the costs of every piece. These qualities frequently conflict with each other. Sometimes you will want to spend more money quicker, other times you need to build small to conserve your resources, as every level requires different design combinations to win!

The level of ingenuity in Opus Magnum is staggering! You can spend days tinkering with all the customization options to build your machines and still never run out of new parts to salvage, advanced robot mechanics to design, and new puzzles to solve thanks to the developers promise of free in-game updates! Opus Magnum raises the bar for every puzzle game moving forward, and is the best entry this genre has seen since the halcyon days of Tetris and Dr.Mario! A must purchase Triple AAA title, a puzzle game like none other!

Final Verdict: 
Graphics: 9/10
Gameplay: 10/10
Sound: 10/10
Replay Value: 9.8/10
Overall: 9.8/10 (Amazing!)

Hello Neighbor

Hello Neighbor should have become a video game I liked. A survival horror based adventure with cartoon visuals and an innovative premise? Sign me up! Unfortunately despite its powerful and unique concept, Hello Neighbor utterly fails upon its execution with poor level design and profoundly confusing puzzles that leave the player throwing their controller against the wall in agony!

The game operates through stealth mechanics. Your goal is to use the provided three acts to find a way to infiltrate the neighbor's basement and uncover what he is hiding. However, as the floor plan evolves into more elaborate fixtures, pacing issues begin right away. Hello, Neighbor's frustratingly inverse difficulty curve makes stealth sections a game of whack a mole trying to avoid the neighbor. Good survival horror games such as Resident Evil amp up the tension with solid gameplay mechanics and frightening monsters to fight. Here, all pressure is surgically removed due to the cartoon style, which wouldn't matter if the stealth mechanics were any good. Here's a hint, they are not. You are more likely to get caught due to glitches and poor programming mechanics, then lack of individual skill.

The biggest problem with this game is that it does an atrociously poor job of teaching the player which interactions are possible in the worlds you explore. You are consistently lost, and the game gives you no clues how to progress forward, so everything is a clumsy trial and error process! The neighbor is smart enough to design traps based on your movements, but good luck figuring out where they are placed! When the game gives you so few tools to work with! Its a frustrating, tedious grind with illogically designed puzzles that have no ingenuity, with crappy stealth mechanics and a lackluster progression system that cripples any potential Hello Neighbor could have had. As it stands, its a frustrating mess of a game I highly recommend you avoid at all costs!

Final Verdict:
Graphics: 6/10
Gameplay: 3/10
Sound: 4/10
Replay Value: 1/10
Overall: 3/10 (Terrible!)

WWE 2K18

Look into this man's sweet, droopy, puppy dog eyes! Does this look like a man who would lie and deceive you, the loyal paying customer? If you answered no, congratulations! You get to enjoy WWE 2K18 for the Nintendo Switch in all its mediocrity and below average standards, lowering the bar for sports games worldwide! 

You will quickly find the WWE 2K18 port for the Nintendo Switch is a glitch-ridden, buggy mess of a video game, an inferior port to the Xbox One X and PS4 Pro versions at genuinely unacceptable levels! The performance is janky and terrible when your Switch is plugged in, but if you take the game on the go, prepare for an unplayable crawling nightmare, in which the framerate can spike below 20 to 10 FPS at random!!!

Every wrestler moves at half speed compared to the Xbox One X and PlayStation 4 Pro versions. Constant jarring framerate drops interrupt the action, as character movements are rendered so poorly out of sync, gameplay devolves into a stereotypical button masher devoid of fun or purpose! Even worse than the horrible framerates, the audio crackles at random during gameplay, as characters will get cut off mid-dialogue. WWE 2K18 can also freeze on you when the audio glitches start mating with the framerate drops and force you to restart your Nintendo Switch to play a mediocre game. Not worth it at all! The lack of polish in this port is astonishing, it's downright abysmal when your port looks worse, sounds worse, and plays even uglier. Bottom line, this is a prime example of how NEVER to release a port!

Final Verdict:
Gameplay: 3/10
Graphics: 4/10
Sound: 1/10
Replay Value: 0/10
Final Score: 2/10 (Garbage!)

Destiny 2: Curse of Osiris & More Underwhelming DLC

Destiny 2 is a disaster. It improves little of the problems with the first Destiny but adds a host of more Season Passes and frustrating DLC practices. Bungie's Curse of Osiris is the first expansion that attempts to put out the fires of gamer rage. But while the expansion has several notable improvements including new story missions and sidequests, most of its gains are subtle, and not enough to solve Destiny's grind-fests and random DLC nightmares!

A six-person squad raid mission, along with new weapon and armor sets is included. For 20$ there is a lot of original content, but it is not enough. The campaign is still monotonous in constant Horde mode fights! Despite beautiful graphics and stunning vistas, the characters in Destiny 2 remain bland and forgettable, with questionable and unsatisfying plot narratives at every single turn!

On the plus side, a new antagonist joins the fray and has intelligent AI to boot, giving Destiny fans the best boss fight since the series inception. Combat mechanics have become tightened up in their execution, as you maneuver through a carbon-rich No Man's Sky sandbox filled with enemies who manipulate time and space. The trouble is, that is all you get for 20$! You're still left with grinding for hours, and random loot drops. You're always dealing with fighting the same generic waves of enemies over and over again in Horde mode with no variety! 

Worst of all, Bungie and Activision are still selling you the game in increments, forcing you to shell out more and more money to get the complete game, the post-release DLC patch nightmare. Why can't this content have come standard with Destiny 2's launch? It's unacceptable that we have to shell out money for an incomplete launch experience, and one with only minor improvements to the overall glaring problems that still plague this franchise!

Farming Simulator 17

On the surface, Farming Simulator 17 doesn't look like it will be a fun experience. I mean, who wants to play a video game where all you do is plow wheat with a tractor and shear sheep? Appearances, however, are deceiving. Farming Simulator 17 is a pixel-perfect rendition of running an actual farm. You can grow a multitude of crops including corn and tomatoes, as well as raising livestock. Tools that real farmers utilize are at your disposal, including tractors, cars, trains, plows, wheelbarrows and more!

The environments are beautiful to look at, ranging from rolling green fields to sandy dunes. You can interact with other farmers in real-time. The tires interact with the environment down to minute details, with mud caking itself upon the tires, every tooth of a Combine Harvester is accounted for, and the lakes sparkle. You can explore your farms on foot, or use Farming Simulator's numerous vehicles to traverse the landscapes more quickly. 

It's the small details that make Farming Simulator stand out, the endless variety of tools at your disposal and the fun of micromanaging your farms and protecting them from the elements, all while fighting to sell more crops than your competitors that makes Farming Simulator 17 unique! There are endless varieties of farmland you can tend to, and the game somehow doesn't become boring because you have so many options. Farming Simulator 17 is a sleeper hit of 2017 for sure! Because who would have imagined that building a farm would be a fun video-game?

Final Verdict:
Graphics: 10/10
Gameplay: 8/10
Sound: 8/10
Replay Value: 8/10
Overall: 8/10 (Great!)

Fallout 4 VR

Fallout 4 is now getting a fresh update for VR, HTC Vive, and Oculus Rift! Experience the craft building sensation that took the gaming world by storm. All the gory guns and weapon arsenals, the open world, and intelligent crafting tools return from the PC version, now updated for 4K and 360-degree immersion!

Although DLC content isn't included in the VR release, Bethesda Studios assures fans that the rest of the game runs at full steam! DLC may become added down the pipeline, but you're still getting hundreds of in-game missions and a massive world to explore. Mod support is in beta currently, as the current Fallout VR release does not support it. However, Bethesda doesn't rule out the possibility of gamers learning how to mod the VR release with the Creation Club content.

This is an entry that needs to get played to become believed! One of the most exceptional VR titles of 2017 to early 2018. Everything you loved about Fallout 4, now with full VR immersion! It's a no-brainer!

Top 3 Fighting Games of 2017

1) Street Fighter 5

Despite a rocky launch, Street Fighter 5 still holds healthy weight as one of the best competitive fighting games of 2017. Akuma gets a Mufasa hairdo and badass new combos, and all the fan favorites sans Sagat (for some horrible reason) return to the fray. I will admit, this game's online mode is still awful, but the fighting game mechanics still hold up from Street Fighter IV.

2)

Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3

Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3 had shoddy DLC practices, by charging players for content already on the disk, as Angry Joe dutifully exposed (and without Megaman?!?!):

Despite the fact that the absence of Megaman (big mistake Capcom) Marvel VS Capcom 3's game mechanics are still satisfying in their execution and fluidity. Its a shame Capcom's shady DLC tactics took lots of opportunities away from this game. Because the core mechanics that made Marvel VS Capcom 2 amazing as a fighter are still here, it's just this game fails to live up to its massive hype, but this by no means makes it a bad game, just far from its prequel's level of quality. Just don't expect an amazing online mode unless they make you buy another version :( In case you couldn't tell, despite great games in 2017, 2017 was also a year of mediocre to poor releases far exceeding the best games.

3) Tekken 7

And now I present the BEST OF THE BEST!!! Between these three entries, I had no other choice but to name Tekken 7 the fighting game of the year! Everything about Namco's latest entry reeks of polish and perfectionism. This game combines all of the most excellent elements that make both Soul Calibur and Virtual Fighter amazing and throws them into a superhuman blender! Combos execute silky smooth as butter, running at 4K resolution! 

Best of all, Street Fighter's legendarily broken Akuma joins the fray, with all of his signature Dark Hadou powers, including the Raging Demon! But every single fighter in Tekken 7 feels impressive. The combat is simple to learn, profoundly skill gap learning curve with deep mechanics that only the best gamers will master. Every single stage looks incredible; the environments range from ninja warrior temples to snowcapped battlefields and fiery volcanoes! The polish from Namco is off the charts, and the online mode is the best of 2017, with little input lag! Tekken 7 is without a doubt, the fighting game of the year in 2017, and an incredible entry, solidifying Namco as the current king of fighting games.

P.S: Honorable mention to the Super Smash Bros game on the Wii U, which is a fantastic game, better than Super Smash Bros Brawl, but the Wii U sucked and flopped hardcore. Hopefully, the much better Nintendo Switch, and a great Super Smash Bros entry can turn the tide as deserved!